Once again, nature calls. Luckily the swans are in Massachusetts, because if they were in some other state I'm sure James Dobson of the Focus on the Family would be calling in the Ex-Gays to provide a conversion. A bit more disturbing is the comment by the Parks spokesperson:
Boston's beloved pair of swans -- feted by city leaders, residents, and tourists alike as one of the Hub's most celebrated summer attractions - are a same-sex couple. Yes, scientific tests have shown that the pair, named Romeo and Juliet, are really Juliet and Juliet.
''Each year when the swans go in, the kids immediately come to us and say, 'Which one's Romeo, and which one's Juliet?' " parks spokeswoman Mary Hines said yesterday in response to a Globe inquiry. ''It's just like one of those fairy tales; why spoil it?"Spoil what? Oh, that's right, I forgot we also live in the state where transplanted and accused trespasser David Parker lives. We're not supposed to tell children the truth that the swans are actually, gasp, a same-sex couple! We're supposed to lie to them. Question: Do you think David Parker will think twice before he takes his child on the swan boats or anywhere near the public garden now?'
'I think this proves that there's something in the environment in Massachusetts," Brian Camenker, director of the Article 8 Alliance, a Waltham-based organization fighting same-sex marriage, joked in a telephone interview. ''Maybe it's the water that's causing all this lunacy."Of course Brian Camenker has to get in on the story, I guess he's the only lunatic the Globe can turn to for outrageous statements. For the record Brian, it's called nature and its natural. Although I'm sure he's trying to link the swans to some GLSEN or same-sex marriage event. He's probably thinking "Those homos MADE the swans gay, seeing all those same-sex couples in the park"
The best line (and last) in the piece goes to Marty Rouse, campaign director of MassEquality:
''We should still cherish and love our swans, no matter whom they choose to swim with."