Saturday, April 29, 2006

Once upon a time...

With the Parkers and Wirthlins now suing practically everyone in the town of Lexington over children's books, I started to think about other books that people could use to sue school districts (or get on the O'Reilly Factor):

One woman shares her house with 7 men. What kind of arrangement do these people have? Why, its polyamory! And when she eventually dies from her stepmother poisoning her, some necrophiliac kisses her dead body and awakens her? Are we to believe this man is Jesus-like? That's against the Bible.

How about a young boy who is forced to work by his mother. Where is her husband? Surely school children shouldn't be seeing examples of single parent households. The boy is clearly an idiot too, selling a cow for magic beans! It's probably because he has no father figure in his life, I'm surprised he's not gay. Without a father figure he's bound to lead a life of stealing. Whoa, if you read a little further, he DOES steal. He even murders the man (a giant man) he's stealing from. What does this teach our children?

Don't get me started on the old man who carves figures of boys out of wood for his own amusement. Come to think of it, we shouldn't be allowing Fairy Tales at all in school, I mean, look at that name, FAIRY TALES. How many children are being indocrinated by that?


Ryan Adams said...

When I have kids, I'll have to keep an eye out for all those fairy tales. I ain't gonna let none of my children grow up to become a fairy!! /sarcasm off

This whole thing is stupid. If those parents don't like it, they should take their kids out of school if it's such a problem.

Concerned Litigious Parent said...

I saw a play at my child's school this week in which a frog wanted to marry a tiny girl. What's up with that? I was hoping that I wouldn't have to explain bestiality to my kid until at least sixth grade. Please help me decide if I should just sue the school or go after the teachers who produced and directed the play as well.